Let’s be honest for a minute—we all have those thoughts. You know, the ones that pop into your head uninvited, the ones that bring with them a weight you didn’t ask for. Maybe it’s that nagging feeling of “I’ll never get better” or the sharp sting of “I hate so-and-so for the way they treated me.” You replay these thoughts over and over, and it can start to feel like you’re stuck in a loop.
Here’s the thing, though: you don’t have to keep those thoughts. Seriously. Just because your brain throws them at you doesn’t mean you have to catch them and carry them around all day. You can actually rewire your brain to flip the script—to start thinking in ways that are kinder, healthier, and more empowering.
Let’s dive into how to rewire those automatic thoughts and start creating more positive ones that work in your favour.
Understanding the Brain’s Default Setting (It’s Not Always Pretty)
Before we jump into how to change your thoughts, let’s talk a little about your brain. Our brains love patterns. Once something happens often enough, your brain creates neural pathways—like well-worn trails in the forest. Negative thoughts—like feeling stuck in illness or holding on to grudges—can turn into those deep ruts that feel impossible to escape.
But guess what? Just like you can clear a trail and make a new one, you can create new pathways in your brain. You don’t have to keep walking the same old path of hurt, anger, or hopelessness. With some effort, you can start building paths toward healthier, more positive thoughts.
How to Change Those Thoughts: It’s Time for a Little Brain-Training
Okay, now we’re getting to the good stuff. Here are some ways you can rewire those automatic thoughts. Whether it’s about recovery, anger, or resentment, you can create new thought patterns that lead to emotional freedom.
1. Reframe Your Thoughts (Seriously, It Works)
You know that feeling when your brain says, “I’ll never get better”? It can feel like a dead end, right? But here’s a little secret: you don’t have to believe that thought.
Reframing is all about challenging that automatic thought and replacing it with something that’s more balanced or positive.
So, instead of “I’ll never get better,” try “This recovery is a process, and I’m making progress every day.”
Or maybe it’s that thought of anger—like, “I hate so-and-so for what they did to me.” Reframing doesn’t mean ignoring your feelings or pretending everything’s okay—it means recognizing that you can’t control their actions, but you can control how you respond.
Try something like, “I’m not letting this anger control me anymore. I’m focusing on my peace and healing.”
2. Mindfulness: Catching the Negative Thoughts Before They Catch You
Mindfulness isn’t just about sitting cross-legged and chanting (although that’s cool too). It’s really about becoming more aware of your thoughts, especially those automatic ones that hit you like a ton of bricks.
Next time you feel that angry thought pop up, or that hopeless feeling, try to observe it without judgment. Take a step back and say, “Okay, I see you. But I’m not going to react to you.”
The more you practice this, the more space you create between the thought and your response. You’re teaching your brain to pause, process and then decide how you want to move forward.
3. Gratitude: Shifting Focus from Hurt to Healing
I know, I know—when you’re in the middle of anger or despair, gratitude can feel a little out of reach. But hear me out—practicing gratitude is like flipping a switch in your brain.
Instead of dwelling on the person who hurt you or the fear that things might never improve, focus on the little things that bring you comfort. It could be the warmth of the sun on your face, the way a good song lifts your mood, or even the calming ritual of brewing your favourite tea.
Gratitude shifts the focus from what’s wrong to what’s going well, and over time, that can rewire your brain’s default setting toward positivity.
4. Affirmations: Reprogram Your Inner Dialogue
Ever heard the phrase, “You are what you think”? Well, it turns out there’s some truth to that. Affirmations are all about talking to yourself in a more positive, empowering way.
So, when that voice in your head says, “I’ll never get better,” try flipping it: “I am on a journey of healing, and I’m getting stronger every day.”
If it’s anger that’s eating at you, try, “I choose to let go of anger and create space for peace and forgiveness.”
Yes, it may feel weird at first—but when you repeat these affirmations, your brain starts to believe them. And soon enough, those positive thoughts will become your new automatic ones.
5. Visualization: See Yourself Free from Hurt and Anger
This one’s kind of fun: visualization is all about using your imagination to picture a positive outcome.
Let’s say you’re dealing with anger towards someone who hurt you. Instead of focusing on the past, visualize yourself feeling calm, at peace, and completely in control of your emotions. Imagine yourself letting go of that anger, feeling lighter and freer.
Visualization works because it tricks your brain into thinking that these positive outcomes are already happening. Your brain doesn’t always know the difference between reality and what you imagine, so it begins creating neural pathways for these positive outcomes.
6. Journaling: Let Your Thoughts Out and Reframe Them
Writing down your thoughts can be incredibly freeing. Not only does it help you process what’s going on in your mind, but it gives you the chance to reframe your negative thoughts on paper.
Next time you’re feeling hurt or angry, journal about what’s bothering you, but also write about how you’d like to feel instead. What would a healthier, more positive thought look like? Write that down, and let it become your new focus.
Patience, Consistency, and a Little Practice
Here’s the thing: rewiring your brain isn’t going to happen overnight. Just like you don’t go to the gym once and expect a six-pack, changing your thought patterns takes consistent effort. But, little by little, you’ll start noticing that those automatic thoughts—the ones filled with anger or despair—start fading into the background.
So, give yourself grace. Be patient with yourself. Over time, these tools will start becoming second nature, and you’ll find that positive thoughts become your new default.
Wrapping It Up
Changing your automatic thoughts is a journey, but you don’t have to do it alone. You have the power to take control of your mind and create more positivity, peace, and healing.
Next time that voice in your head says, “I’ll never get better” or “I hate so-and-so for what they did,” remember—you’ve got the tools to flip the script.
One small thought at a time, you can rewire your brain for the better.
Are you ready to start? Let’s get rewiring!
References
Doidge, N. (2007). The Brain That Changes Itself: Stories of Personal Triumph from the Frontiers of Brain Science. Viking Press.
A foundational text on neuroplasticity, explaining how the brain can rewire itself through consistent effort and new experiences.
Siegel, D. J. (2010). The Mindful Brain: Reflection and Attunement in the Cultivation of Well-Being. W.W. Norton & Company.
Explains the role of mindfulness in changing thought patterns and cultivating emotional resilience.
Fredrickson, B. L. (2004). “The broaden-and-build theory of positive emotions.” Philosophical Transactions of the Royal Society B: Biological Sciences, 359(1449), 1367–1377.
Discusses how positive emotions like gratitude can broaden thought-action repertoires and help build enduring personal resources.
Seligman, M. E. P. (2011). Flourish: A Visionary New Understanding of Happiness and Well-being. Free Press.
Explores how practices like gratitude and affirmations can lead to improved mental health and well-being.
Kabat-Zinn, J. (1994). Wherever You Go, There You Are: Mindfulness Meditation in Everyday Life. Hyperion.
Offers practical insights into mindfulness and how observing thoughts without judgment can create space for healthier responses.
Pennebaker, J. W. (1997). Opening Up: The Healing Power of Expressing Emotions. Guilford Press.
Highlights the benefits of journaling for emotional processing and reframing negative thoughts.
Taylor, S. E., & Pham, L. B. (1996). “Why thinking about goals and plans enhances performance.” Review of General Psychology, 1(3), 211–224.
Discusses the power of visualization in achieving goals and creating positive mental frameworks.
Hanson, R., & Mendius, R. (2009). Buddha’s Brain: The Practical Neuroscience of Happiness, Love, and Wisdom. New Harbinger Publications.
Combines neuroscience and mindfulness to explain how you can rewire your brain for happiness and peace.
Goleman, D. (1995). Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ. Bantam Books.
Explores how self-awareness and intentional practices, like affirmations, can reprogram emotional responses.
Lazar, S. W., et al. (2005). “Meditation experience is associated with increased cortical thickness.” Neuro Report, 16(17), 1893–1897.
Provides evidence on how consistent mindfulness practice can lead to physical changes in the brain.
Lyubomirsky, S. (2008). The How of Happiness: A Scientific Approach to Getting the Life You Want. Penguin Press.
Explains strategies like gratitude and reframing thoughts as key components of lasting happiness.
Tversky, A., & Kahneman, D. (1974). “Judgment under Uncertainty: Heuristics and Biases.” Science, 185(4157), 1124–1131.
Provides a foundational understanding of cognitive biases and how they influence automatic thought patterns.
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